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Turducken Day!

I did something I’ve always wanted to do this year for Thanksgiving—cook with friends, laugh and drink, without stress or travel.

I also made a Turducken (sorry for the image quality here--there was a lot of wine in play), something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. But, alas, like many things, the Turducken, while tasty, didn’t live up to my fantasies.

I cheated and had the birds assembled by a butcher—my knife skills don’t extend to deboning three birds and my motor skills probably wouldn’t be up to reassembling and sewing the whole thing up.

I set the alarm for the wee hours of the morning and started the thing roasting, as directed, at 190. It took thirteen hours. Thankfully, we had a ton of wine on hand and some nibbles.

For the meal, Jodi brought a killer cheese cake with a goat cheese base, oven roasted broccoli rabe and hand made sweet potato gnocchi with pecan brown butter. I made Irish whiskey glazed carrots, cauliflower in a Dijon cheese sauce, oven roasted rosemary mashed new potatoes, gravy from the Turducken drippings and a cranberry tangerine sauce.

A local pastry chef came armed with homemade bread. Throw in a salad, some green beans with almonds, three bottles of sparkling wine, four bottles of red, half a bottle of Irish whisky, a cheese plate and some major laughs, and it was a happy day indeed.

Next year, I skip the Turducken and deep fry the turkey.

Lucifur making a point.

So, I'll be in the New York metro area from 12/22-12/29. I plan to spend several nights, both before and after Christmas in the City. Y'all going to be around?

After spending much of yesterday in lazy, nap mode, I took myself to a late showing of the new Harry Potter movie.

And it kind of sucks. The effects are spectacular, the action relentless, and it’s never boring despite its length, but it’s also deeply unsatisfying.

Reason One: Michael Gambon as Dumbledore. He just sucks. He plays him as this manic freak and it’s terrible; it doesn’t help that most of his lines seem to be written so that they scream: AWKWARD EXPOSITION AT WORK HERE!!!!

Reason Two: The puberty thing. It’s one of the strengths of the books that the children have been allowed to grow into teenagers, with all that entails in terms of hormones and relationships, but, take a look at Hermione and Krum in the movie. In the book, their relationship is one founded on their mutual affection for studying. Here, she’s a swooning, silly girl who fawns all over a guy who doesn’t talk.

Reason Three: Not Leaving Well Enough Alone. The movie uses the Triwizard Tournament to drive the narrative at the expense of everything else. Fine. They needed to shave the plot down so it wasn’t a six hour movie. But the special effects and “enhancements” to the tasks left me cold—they’re written thrillingly in the books; why not follow that blueprint?

Reason Four: I assume Alan Rickman shot more footage than they used. Because his Snape is pitch perfect. But Snape, and all the teachers, aren’t really in this movie. And that’s a shame, because unlike the kids who play Harry and Ron, the adults who play the teachers can actually act.

Reason Five: Moody. He’s played for comic effect here more than the mysterious menace he projects in the book. That’s a shame.

Reason Six: All the Triwizard action in the movie usurped the growing emotional depth of the characters—and that’s the reason most of us “grown-ups” keep going back to the books.

It’s the most spectacular of all the movies, easily, but it’s also the weakest in terms of story, and that’s a shame.

Edit: My spellchecker knows “Dumbledore.”

The Solution?

Don't Get Me Wrong

I love kids. Love them to pieces, want to have some, etc. But as a long time "hospitality professional," I do have some issues with the ways children often behave in public spaces.

There was the time the child ran into the bar while his parents ate their meal and proceeded to dump the candles all over the tables. When I decided he wasn't going to burn himself, I carried him back to the table and explained that I wasn't being paid to babysit. That didn't go over well.

When I briefly worked at Border's, parents used to dump toddlers in the kid's section while they shopped. Left to their own devices, those little kids wreaked havoc.

And, my favorite, the woman who changed her child's diaper ON THE TABLE at Tea Lounge. His baby shit filled, stinky diaper, leaking it's contents and stinking up the entire area. ON THE TABLE. When I mentioned that there was a changing table in the Men's Room and would be happy to make sure it was empty for her, the mother lost her shit on me. But I do think I have a right to enjoy a cup of joe free of baby shit leakage.

Mostly, I take issue with the parenting here, but this article struck a chord.

I know that my mother used to tell my sister and I, when we were very young, that two things would happen if we misbehaved during dinner. First, we would be locked in the car while everyone else finished. Second, we'd never eat in a restaurant again. I believed every word. And I can't recall ever testing her.

What do you think?

Yes, We're Sorry Too

Bird Flu Reported in Paris

No word if other cartoon creatures affected.