Notes From a Former New Yorker

Well...

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 18:13:00 +0000

It doesn't help to say it, but I told you so.

Yes We Can.

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 06:51:00 +0000

That is all.

Fucking A.

Awesome

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 15:11:00 +0000

Precocious Youngster Sells Cookies To Buy Attack Ad

That One?!?!?!

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 07:09:00 +0000

Really?

The last few days have seen the McSame/Pale Imitation team sink into muck that might just be unprecidented in American politics.

But, "That one?"

Really?

Have they really decided to abandoned coded racism and just go for it?

Well, I know who I'm voting for...

Is It Me?

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 05:26:00 +0000

I opted out of the RNC coverage tonight in favor of a good book, but I've been tuning in to the re-runs and just caught W's video address.

But, doesn't it suck? Convention talking heads are in short supply from what I've seen, but the speeches, the stage craft, the images, simply seem to suck.

I've been guilty of overestimating the American people in the past, but, really?

When W was speaking and the camera pulled back from his screen, I kept seeing empty seats.

Fred Thompson is pretty good, if you like that kind of thing, but isn't he a Hollywood homo anyway?

And, well, he lied. My favorite Law and Order prosecutor seems to have forgotten that McCain, in July, told a PA reporter that he named the Steeler's defensive line as his Squadron mates while a POW. Tonight, as it has been in the past, it was the Packers.

Pandering to the audience?

Cognitive Dissonance

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 07:08:00 +0000

I don't really care that the daughter of an "abstinence only" politician has found herself knocked up at 17, when, perhaps, a condom or two might have been useful.

But, this line, from the initial story, caught my eye:

Bristol Palin made the decision on her own to keep the baby, McCain aides said.

I wasn't aware that McCain or his aides thought there was a choice in this kind of matter? Has he changed his position?

And, this line, from the official statement, caught my eye too:

We're proud of Bristol's decision to have her baby and even prouder to become grandparents.(emph mine)

I'm so very confused. Palin has supported parental notification laws, which would seem to indicate that, for Bristol at least, it's not her decision at all. Because she's not 18. But, more importantly, she subscribes to a world view in which the decision to have a child isn't a decision at all, but rather the will of God.

The stories do dovetail, however, with a McSame statement from 2000, when asked what would happen if his own then teenaged daughter became pregnant:

I would discuss this issue with Cindy and Meghan, and this would be a private decision that we would share within our family and not with anyone else," McCain told reporters in New Hampshire on board his campaign bus nicknamed "The Straight Talk Express. "Obviously I would encourage her to bring, to know that baby would be brought up in a warm and loving family, but the final decision would be made by Meghan with our advice and counsel."

So, Senator McSame and Gov. Palin, does/did Bristol actually have a choice here? Just curious.

Stunning

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 06:23:00 +0000

The Speech? Unfuckingbelivable. Pat Buchanan was wetting himself about how good it was. Pat Buchanan. Bizaro world.

But, mostly, how could anyone remotely familiar with American history not get shivers to think that, 45 years to the day after "I Have A Dream," an African American man steps up to the podium and says,

To Chairman Dean and my great friend Dick Durbin; and to all my fellow citizens of this great nation;
With profound gratitude and great humility, I accept your nomination for the presidency of the United States.

45 Years, 43 years since the passage of the Voting Rights Act of 1965. I have friends older than 43.

The Big Dog Owes Me Royalties

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 06:52:00 +0000

Nice speech, Mr. President. As a political junkie, I will always bow down before your skill. We will not see another like you, not even someone like Obama who is obviously gifted rhetorically. Because your mix the oratory with perfectly crafted sound bites, perfectly delivered.

I bow down.

But, I wrote this

My friends, it was true in 1992 and it is true today.

I still believe in a place called hope.

suggesting that Obama use it against y'all. I'm going to have check my search stats and see if you've been googling in.

Well Played, Senator, Well Played

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 08:12:00 +0000

Hillary was, simply, excellent tonight.

A lot of the conservative wind bags are trying to suggest she didn't do what she needed to do. Which is, obviously, a crock.

Last night, Teddy passed the torch to Obama, but, tonight, one might be forgiven for wondering if Hillary is considering following Teddy's path--Forget any ambition for the top job, and become the Lioness of the Senate.

Color me impressed.

But, this guy stole the night:

If I was an ambitious political consultant, I'd start whispering in this guy's ear about his future.

No Shit?

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 05:30:00 +0000

Biden? As, in This Guy?

Really?

Biden?

Huh.

I'm really only surprised because Biden doesn't only go off the reservation from time to time, he goes and annexes a few other reservations and then dares the people who used to live there to declare bankruptcy. He, unlike the Obama people, is not noted for his message discipline.

It'a either brilliant or a disaster.

But, good God, wouldn't it be awesome if Biden really is the guy and McCain picks that guy Crist from Florida? Because Crist is not only gay, he's like Donnie Osmond Gay, and can't you just see Biden dropping the word "gay" into conversation everywhere south of the Mason Dixon line and north of Boston?

Photos

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 22:16:00 +0000

You can see me in action here and in number 46 here.

Courtesy of the fabulous Boots In The Oven

Kiwi Bound

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 15:39:00 +0000

I was victorious.

And, the Yankees took two of three from the Sox this weekend. Sadly, as I have not yet satisfied the terms of my earlier loss, I fear I'm not in any position to extract my pound of flesh from Weasel.

But I'm going to New Zealand. For free.

Oh, the Drinks We Mix

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 23:51:00 +0000

So, here's the thing. I'm a finalist in the Austin regional for the Cocktail World Cup. What does this mean? It means that I've got a one in ten shot of winning a free trip to New Zealand if I outmix the competion in about ten days.

The long and short of it--if you're in Austin, or if you will be in Austin, on 7/27 and want to go to this thing, shoot me an email and I'll get you in invite.

Thank You New Guy

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 03:38:00 +0000

For that beautiful at bat and the drive up the middle to win it. Because I'm so far behind in paying off my debt to Weasel that if I'd owed two, I'd never get out from under.

But, really, this is what matters.

Being an Uncle Rules

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 05:39:00 +0000

You get all the cuteness, you can spoil, your diaper duty is rare and, later, you get to be the cool one.

Welcome Keira.

Small Pond

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 16:24:00 +0000

Average Fish.

The Good Die Young

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Wed, 28 May 2008 17:57:00 +0000

Oakwood Annex Cemetery, Montgomery, Alabama.

She's Always Been Badass

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:01:00 +0000

A big congrats to my friend Kris Grossman, aka Malone, who's got an essay in this book, alongside the likes of Benazir Bhutto, Susie Bright, Nancy Pelosi and Marion Winik.

Malone writing about motherhood alongside the Speaker of the House, a children's book author and a sex writer? Sounds about right.

A Real Champion of Ordinary Folks

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Thu, 01 May 2008 17:57:00 +0000

I owe Weasel payment and will make good shortly.

It's That Time of Year Again

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 18:40:00 +0000

Mr. Weasel and I have, for two seasons now, had a running bet on the outcome of each of the various Yankee/Red Sox series over the course of the baseball season.

The rules by which we have been operating were first outlined thusly:

So, I propose some sort of bet, to be played out here and in his own pages. Not anything of monetary consequence, as I am poor and he's soon to be betrothed, but rather something visual, to be blogged, a picture perhaps, of Wisdom sporting an "I Heart Jeter" shirt should the Yankees win the series and something equally mortifying to me in these pages should the unthinkable happen and the Red Sox win.

Then, as the season progresses, we can continue this, in the spirit of good natured ribbing and mutual mortification [EDITOR: this sounds like something you need to address in the confessional, really].

I'm willing to take suggestions on the terms, keeping in mind that the embarrassing gesture need be: a) cheap, b) easily blogged and c) funny.

There has been much good natured fun and we are set to continue.

We both agree that the terms and conditions could use some tweaking, but our private discussions are barely underway as the first series of the season fast approaches. I have privately contacted Mr. Weasel and proposed a continuation of the rules from previous seasons for the first two sets of the year, while we try to work out new details to keep things fresh.

Ideas?

She Really Will Say Anything To Get Elected

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 21:10:00 +0000

More here and here.

The Mix Tape From Hell

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 06:02:00 +0000

According to Mother Jones, this is the playlist of songs American troops used to "prolong capture shock" amongst Iraqi detainees:

Deicide: Fuck Your God
Dope: Die MF Die
Dope: Take Your Best Shot
Eminem: White America
Eminem: Kim
Barney: Barney Theme Song
Drowning Pool: Bodies
Metallica: Enter Sandman
'Meow Mix' TV Commercial Jingle
Sesame Street TV Theme Song
David Gray: Babylon
Bruce Springsteen: Born in the U.S.A.
AC/DC: Shoot to Thrill
AC/DC: Hells Bells
BeeGees: Stayin' Alive
Tupac: All Eyes on Me
Christina Aguilera: Dirrty
Neil Diamond: America
Rage Against the Machine: Bulls on Parade
Don McLean: American Pie
Saliva: Click Click Boom
Matchbox 20: Cold
Hed P.E.: Swan Dive
Prince: Raspberry Beret

I'm not at all trying to make light of the fact that our military has been hideous and behaved in ways that can only be described as evil, but when you make people listen to Eminem, Barney, David Gray and Don McLean in close quarters, can there be any doubt that what we're doing is torture?

SXSW Live Sets

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 04:37:00 +0000

You can catch live sets recorded at SXSW here

Artists include Liam Finn, REM, Billy Bragg, My Morning Jacket, Yo La Tengo and the totally lame and over hyped Vampire Weekend.

Anyone know how to rip these sets?

This Time....

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 07:04:00 +0000

I'll admit I haven't the fainest idea what Obama's speech today means politically. I can't begin to think about how it "plays," what one might do to "spin" it. And I think that's why it's the most remarkable speech given in a political context in at least my lifetime.

Since at least 1980 (and probably since LBJ's "Daisy" commercial), the main goal of political campaigns has been to lower the political discourse, to dumb down the message and to use rhetoric to create wedges to drive voters. Hell, it was my job, for a short time, to take the incredibly complex and twist and distill it in ways that moved bodies to my side of the ledger. It was, we argued, done for the greater good, done so that good complex policy would garner more support than bad complex policy. To achieve lofty aims, we argued, we had to use gutter tactics and language. We assumed the ignorance and stupidity of the voters we sought and, as a result, we created an ignorant and stupid electorate.

With the rise of cable and, later, the internet, the way news was received changed and the language of the gutter became the language of policy. The only possible result was a degree of polarization never before seen in American life, a rift that was only exacerbated when those that drove that very polarization proved to be profit cows for those who offered them platforms.

And here we are. We are in a place where 13% of Americans seem to believe that Barack Obama is a Muslim. We are in a place where a goodly portion of us believe that John McCain is a traitor for statements he made under the duress of torture, despite his refusal to secure his own freedom and comfort at the expense of others. We are in a place where an internet search for Hillary Clinton will yield reams of material that purports to link her and her husband to murder.

Never mind the facts. Our twenty years of relentless spin have relegated facts to the dust heap of history.

And then, this speech. This speech that makes me wish I'd pursued the law school goal I once held, if only so I could have sat in a classroom and learned from a man who now wants to be President.

Because, really, despite the comparisons to other great political and social addresses that are flowing from our media outlets today, what we really got was a lecture from a gifted and inspiring teacher. A lecture from a man who has read widely, who has studied carefully, who has listened and learned, who has come to conclusions based on what he has found and who is able to distill those conclusions into concise and thoughtful arguments about what we should do next.

What we heard today was, at its core, what teachers, what great teachers, are supposed to do.

There is no subject in our American experience and in our lives as Americans that holds more nuance and complexity than race. There is no other problem in which we all are, in ways great and small, complicit in the wrongs and, potentially, in ways great and small, agents for the solutions that can begin to move us forward.

But for a politician, for a candidate for President of the United States, to speak on the subject with nuance and complexity, is something I never thought would happen. Hell, after the last seven years, I'm happy to have someone running for President who happens to know who Faulkner is. But for someone to quote him, and to use that quote to artfully and forcefully illustrate an uncomfortable point, is beyond the pale of my expectations.

I don't begin to understand what this speech will do for Obama's campaign for President, but I do firmly understand that it is a real attempt for him, and his campaign, to outline, clearly and perhaps for the first time, what he means when he says that he is a different kind of candidate.

He didn't talk in platitudes today. He didn't talk in slogans. He didn't speak in anger or lash out. He didn't seem poll tested or focus grouped.

Instead, his words were measured, his arguments thoughtful and reasoned.

We've heard a lot about "change" over the last few months, and in these pages I've called that little slogan "nebulous bullshit."

Well, I was wrong. Because the very idea of a thoughtful, engaged and questioning man leading this country would be change of the highest order.

The Comedy Gift That Keeps on Giving

noreply@blogger.com (Bill Norris) — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 03:47:00 +0000

Ladies and Gentleman, children of all ages, I give you Jim "I Am A Gay American" McGreevey and His Crazy Soon to Be Ex Wife in the latest stunning revelation to come out of a story that should've burned out by now but just keeps on trucking along.

Oh, where to start.

How about with three way sex that starts with a nice, romantic evening at the luxuriously appointed Woodbridge, NJ TGI Fridays?

Who hasn't been there, really? A frozen margarita or two, maybe a Long Island Iced Tea, some potato skins, perhaps a plate of wings, "to spice things up," you'd say, with a shy smile. Then, out into the soft glow of the parking lot, the quietly romantic whoosh of traffic on Route 1 promising a night of ecstasy as the wind off a passing IROC ruffles your hair on the way out to your car.

In that environment, who could resist making a "Friday Night Special" with the handsome young man hired to drive you around while you're the Mayor and winning in your second run for Governor? And, who can blame a girl, really, for failing to notice that her husband quietly fancied the young hunk behind the wheel of the car, for not noticing that he was much more enthusiastic on those hot and heavy nights. You could chalk it up to the spinach dip appetizer, the nachos, the freely flowing pitchers of Coors Light. You'd probably never notice, under the expert hands of the young lad, your man keeping his eyes fixed below your additional paramour's waistband as he shucked his Dockers.

TGI Fridays?

Jesus.

Back in 1997, I did the oppo for one of the primary candidates running against McG in his first shot at the Governor's mansion. He was shagging the driver in that race too. After a debate, I had a couple of drinks with a guy I went to high school with who was a McG staffer. I told him we knew. They were terrified it was going to come out. I assume it's got to be a different driver, because this dude would've been 18 in 1997, so I have to say it was nice for McG to find someone for both he and the wife the second time around. After all, relationships are all about the sharing.

Sometimes I really miss New Jersey.

EDITED to add this comment from the nj.com story on the whole thing:

Posted by ratb on 03/17/08 at 4:27PM

TGI's Friday Night Special:

Tossed salad, 2 breadsticks, and a portuguese roll